My Dearest Lord M
by anneikenskywalker
Summary: Six years after their final goodbye, at a turning point in Lord M's life, his path crosses with Victoria's again...and, in each other's company once more, it's like they were never apart.
1. Chapter 1

**_October 18, 1846_**

Lord Melbourne closed his eyes and leaned his head on the tree trunk against his back, letting the late morning sunlight shine on his face and the numerous gray streaks in his dark, curly locks, the songs of the numerous birds on his Melbourne Hall Estate filling his ears.

This morning, like every morning since his retirement from public life, following breakfast, he took a walk around the grounds as well as he was able—a minor stroke three years prior had affected the mobility on his right side, though by some miracle he had retained his speaking and his mental capacity, though initially lost, had been returning to full strength in the last year.

Usually, once he had made one pass around the house, his "therapy" he called it, Melbourne usually tossed his cane aside and sat down on the grass, leaning against one of the great trees on the property to watch the numerous varieties of birds that made the property their home as well, especially the Rooks.

Melbourne wasn't sure how much time had passed before he suddenly heard the sound of small footsteps approaching behind him—a woman's feet by his experience, crunching the fall leaves under them as they went.

When they finally stopped, Melbourne blinked open his eyes and waited.

It was then that he heard a voice he did not expect from the other side of the tree.

"Lord M?"

Melbourne's heart nearly exploded out of his chest at the sound of the familiar female voice.

But, it couldn't really be _her_ could it? It had been so long…

Years, in fact.

Moments later, 27 year-old Queen Victoria rounded the tree trunk and stood above him with the sunlight behind her like the rays of an angel.

Melbourne's eyes softened and a small smile crossed his face. He reached out for his cane and immediately made an effort to pull himself up.

Victoria saw the effort and quickly placed a hand on his arm to steady him as he came to his feet in front of her.

When he was securely balanced on his cane, he bowed his head in homage to her majesty, then raised his eyes to meet her gaze, the Queen giving him a sweet smile as she searched his face in return—both parties seemingly in awe that they were finally seeing each other face to face after the passing of so much time.

"You look almost _exactly_ the same…" she whispered, her eyes, even after all this time, still filled with care and devotion for him.

Melbourne found himself lost in their deep blue depths for a long moment before he pulled himself to reality and smirked, "Age and infirmity have taken their toll, I'm afraid, Ma'am. But, may I say that _you_ look exactly the same? Maybe even a bit taller, in fact."

Victoria smiled at the compliment, then leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially like she did with him when she was a teenager as she pointed down to her feet, " _It's the shoes_."

Lord Melbourne laughed and the Queen joined in as she came to his left side and entwined her arm through his.

As their laughter dissipated, Victoria nodded toward Melbourne Hall, "Allow me to walk you back?"

"It would be my honor, Ma'am," Melbourne replied automatically and took a step forward, supported by his cane and his Queen.

"You, know, you are no longer my Prime Minister, Lord Melbourne, nor are you bound to me by any duty. _Therefore,_ after all that you have given me over the years we shared together—guidance, friendship—I must insist that you just call me, 'Victoria'. I'd say you've earned it."

"Yes, Ma'am," Melbourne smirked and Victoria sighed with a slightly exasperated smile, knowing it would be hopeless to get the old Whig to change his ways now.

They walked in silence for a few more moments before Melbourne asked, "To what to I owe the pleasure of your visit, Ma'am?"

"Albert and I were visiting Derbyshire as part of royal tour. I had heard you had returned here to your family seat to convalesce after your stroke and, well, I couldn't possibly pass up an opportunity to pay a visit to my favorite Prime Minister and my oldest and dearest friend, could I?"

Melbourne smiled as Victoria leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment, then let it rise again as they continued walking in measured steps.

"Albert is furious, that we stopped, of course. And even _more_ furious that I came here on my own, but I _had_ to see you and assure myself that you were well…" Victoria inclined her head toward Melbourne in the way she always did when she asked a question she already knew the answer to and asked, "Are you well?"

Melbourne took in a sharp breath. It pained him to lie to Victoria, but because he still loved her in the deepest part of his body and soul, he would do it.

Since his stroke, his future was uncertain. The physician had told him he could live for years, but most likely it would be months. He had been very fortunate the first time around. But, everyday, there lingered the possibility of another stroke that could be even more debilitating, or most likely, end his life.

"I am well," he lied, in good form, "I have good days and bad, but being here," he continued, looking around at his surroundings, "in the woods of my childhood every day…watching the Rooks…" he turned back to Victoria and she smiled a sad smile as she remembered the love birds she and Melbourne had once talked about that day at Brocket Hall, "it's done me some good."

"I'm glad," the Queen replied, looking away for a moment before she said, "You know, as you have no close kin, you are always welcome to come back and stay with us at the palace. You would have the best medical care, that I promise you, and I could look after you... And I'm sure you would enjoy the company of the children, especially Vicky, she's _so smart_ —"

"I'm well cared for here, Ma'am," Melbourne said softly, turning to meet her gaze, telling her with his eyes that though her offer is appreciated, he couldn't possibly impose on her family or let her see him in his final days.

Another long moment passed before Victoria sighed, then leaned in and whispered in his ear in a sad tone, "Forgive me for not sending any letters these past years…it was an unforgivable sin on my part…"

Melbourne closed his eyes for a moment as he shook his head, lamenting, "There is nothing to forgive, Ma'am. You are a young beautiful Queen, a wife and a mother now, and I am an old man—"

"You're not so old to me," Victoria interjected immediately her voice cracking with emotion, "You _never_ _were_. I loved you, Lord Melbourne, and part of my heart will _always_ be yours."

At her words, Melbourne slowed his pace as they came to the gravel drive that led up to the front of Melbourne Hall, then finally stopped, turning toward Victoria.

Leaning on his cane with his right hand, his face softened as he saw the tears welling in her eyes.

Suddenly, without hesitation, he took an unsteady step forward, closing the distance between them as he brought his left hand gently to the side of her face and she closed her eyes at his touch, the electricity that never truly died, sparking between their skin.

Victoria's lip trembled as she leaned her face into his hand, and, when her eyes opened, a single tear streaked down her cheek as she took his hand from the side of her face into her own and kissed it.

"Dear Lord M," she said looking up into his face, "I hope you know that I _still_ haven't forgotten…"

"Neither have I, Ma'am," Melbourne replied, trying to keep his emotions in check

Bringing their entwined hands down in front of her, Victoria looked at them for a few moments before she continued, "I'm afraid I have a confession to make."

"Ma'am?"

"I recently spoke to Sir John Halmett, your physician, when he was in London..." She didn't look up as her words trailed off

He couldn't hide the truth from her.

She knew.

"This is most likely the last time I'm going to see you, isn't it?" she asked tentatively, her eyes till cast down

Melbourne bit his lip, cleared his throat, then said, "Most likely…Yes, Ma'am."

Victoria's face crumbled slightly as she continued to look at their hands, then she sniffed back her tears, pulling one of her hands free to wipe under her eyes before she found the courage to look up at him again.

"Well, then…" she said, mustering courage into her voice, "We better make it time well spent, haven't we? I have brought a gift for you, Lord Melbourne."

Melbourne raised an eyebrow as Victoria entwined her arm through his once more and planting a soft kiss on his cheek, led the way up the path toward the house, the gravel crunching under their feet.

# # # # # # #

"Thank you, Marc," Melbourne nodded, receiving a cup of tea from his valet before the man stepped back and, bowing to the Queen, left the two in Melbourne's study near the fireplace.

When the door shut behind Marc, Victoria turned toward Melbourne, setting her tea cup on the side table between them.

"So, what is this gift, then?" Melbourne asked with a twinkle in his eye before he took a sip of his tea.

"You're such a _terrible flirt,_ Lord M," Victoria mused before she turned in her chair and pulled her travel carpet back onto her lap and opened it.

Melbourne chuckled at her comment and immediately started coughing when the tea he had sipped, ended up going down the wrong pipe.

"You _deserved_ that!" Victoria laughed then smiled as she watched Melbourne finally regain his bearings and set his tea cup on the table next to hers.

When Melbourne had cleared his throat, coughed and turned back toward Victoria, he saw that she was holding four, tall stacks of letters bound with twine.

"What are those?" Melbourne asked, narrowing his eyes in curiosity

" _These…_ " Victoria announced, leaning forward to the edge of her chair and passing the letters onto his lap, "Are _your_ letters."

" _Mine_? But—" Melbourne started as he received the letters, then stopped when he pulled apart the twine of one stack and, as he looked through the first few letters, noticed that the envelopes were all addressed to the same person in fountain pen – _'Lord M'_ —and on the back were dated every week for the last six years.

Lord Melbourne let out a short breath, then turned to Victoria and she smiled and nodded.

"I—" he started, but emotion prevented him from continuing

After a moment, Victoria said, "Albert and Mama thought that sending letters to you after you left office and my confidence, was _inappropriate_. But, I had written you a letter just about every day for the first three years of my reign...how was I to _just stop?_ So, I found a loop hole. I continued to write to you, Dear Lord M… I just didn't send the letters. However, seeing as our remaining time together may be short, I wanted to ensure that you finally received them. Thus, here I am and here _they_ are."

Melbourne bit his lip and tried to blink back the tears that now welled in his eyes as he met the Queen's gaze.

There was a long silence between them before Melbourne placed a reverent hand on the letters in his lap and said, "Thank You."

Victoria nodded solemnly in return then her face suddenly lit up as she clapped her hands together, "Now! How about I read a few to you?"

Lord Melbourne smiled and, plucking one of the letters from the top of the stack, handed it to her.

"Victoria…" he said softly, acknowledging her for the first time by her name

Victoria looked at him with surprise for a moment, the envelope resting between their hands in mid-air for what felt like an eternity before she finally received it into her lap, her eyes never leaving Lord Melbourne's, "Thank you, William."

Melbourne nodded then settled back in his chair, rubbing his forefinger over his lip thoughtfully and focusing his dark eyes on her majesty as she cleared her throat, brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and pulled the first letter from the envelope and unfolded it.

"May 12, 1842...My Dearest Lord M…"


	2. Chapter 2

_**December 30, 1847**_

Victoria bit her lip as she dabbed her fingers a little harder than she meant to into her dish of facial cream.

"My darling…you are cross…" Albert's voice suddenly sounded behind her, drawing Victoria's eyes up to his reflection in the vanity mirror in front of her.

She hadn't heard him come in from kissing the children goodnight, probably because she was still absorbed in her thoughts.

"How can you tell?" she deadpanned

"Because when you are cross, I dare say you look like your mother," Albert smirked

" _Mama_?" Victoria mused, quirking an eyebrow at him before she began to dab some cream under her eyes, "Don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly…" Albert said, walking over to the bed as he untied his bathrobe and slipped his feet from his slippers, "I speak the truth. You two are more alike than you care to admit."

Victoria rolled her eyes as she spread the cream around her cheek bones and then brought her fingers to dab for more in the tin.

"What are you cross about darling?" Albert asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed and watched her focus her energies into her nightly ritual.

"Not _cross_ …" Victoria sighed as she brought some cream to her chin and rubbed it in methodically, "as much as _disappointed."_

"Disappointed?" Albert asked, genuinely intrigued, "What about?"

"At the risk of making _you_ cross," Victoria said eyeing Albert in the mirror before rubbing her hands together, then dabbing some of the cream on her nose, then her forehead, "I'll admit, that since my visit to Derbyshire a year ago—when I stopped to call on Lord Melbourne—""

"I remember…" Albert replied, straightening

"Well... I have been corresponding with him," Victoria said, rubbing the cream into the skin of her forehead as her eyes looked wearily back to Albert's reflection in the mirror.

"You've _what_?" Albert asked, sitting forward, his eyes narrowing

"I've been writing him letters…" Victoria said defiantly, bringing her hands together again and rubbing the rest of the cream into them, then her left and right forearms.

"Victoria—" Albert started

"And before you remind me how crass and inappropriate it is to engage with him socially and intimately when he is no longer my Prime Minister," Victoria suddenly interjected, turning in her vanity chair to face her husband, "Let me say how _beneficial_ it has been for _him and_ for _me._ Since his last stroke, I do believe it has helped Lord M's health...as well as his spirits. He is doing much better than his doctors had predicted before—"

"I am glad to hear it Victoria, for your sake _and_ his, but perhaps you best tell me where this is all heading…" Albert asked in that condescending tone a teacher would use with a student

"Well," Victoria said, letting out a little huff of breath and closing her eyes as she turned toward her vanity again and picked up her hairbrush, "A week ago, in my last letter, I invited Lord Melbourne to our New Year's celebration at St. James' Palace—"

"And he declined?" Albert asked, a little _too hopefully_ , then cringed a little at the insensitive inflection in his words, but it was too late.

"Yes," Victoria replied haughtily as she brought the soft bristles of the brush to the ends of her hair and began to brush them, then continued sadly, "On the grounds that 'he didn't wish to attract to or detract attention from his sovereign Queen'."

"He is a wise man," Albert assessed, "He does not wish to draw attention to you or take it away by turning heads and returning to court after so long…and in such an intimate capacity—"

" _Intimate capacity_?" Victoria scoffed, lowering her brush in her hands and for a moment, Albert wondered if she might throw it at him, but she didn't, she just lifted her eyes to meet his in the reflection of the mirror of her vanity, her eyes pained and on the verge of tears, "He is one of my _oldest and dearest friends,_ Albert—"

"Who, it is quite clear that _,_ after all these years, still claims a piece of your heart, Victoria…" Albert immediately replied

"Albert…" Victoria whispered, realizing the meaning of her husband's words, then closed her eyes as she shook her head, then said after she composed herself, "Forgive me."

Albert immediately stood from the bed and walked over to where she was seated at the vanity and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"There is nothing to forgive," Albert lamented and his face softened as Victoria opened her eyes and met his in the mirror again before placing her hand over his as he continued, "I once asked you if you would prefer flattery or the truth and you said 'the truth'. I also wish you to always speak the truth to me and never hide your feelings, not matter what they are or who they are for."

Victoria nodded sadly, then sighed as she placed the hairbrush in her other hand back on the vanity and turned in her chair to face her husband squarely, kissing his hand on her shoulder before looking up to him.

"Am I being selfish?" Victoria suddenly asked, "Asking him to come, then being upset when he wisely says 'no'? I know he's trying to protect me, but is it _wrong_ that I so _badly_ want him to come regardless?"

"That depends…" Albert prompted, kneeling down next to her chair, his hand never leaving her shoulder as he gazed upon her worried face, sensing by her tone that there was more the situation with Melbourne than what Victoria was letting on.

"I spoke again with his physician, Dr. Halmett," Victoria said, looking down sadly, "And despite everything he has currently in his favor, Dr. Halmett expects that this will be Lord Melbourne's last Christmas and New Year…"

She paused a moment, then looked up to Albert with tears welling in her eyes.

Albert took in a steady breath, then responded as he brought his free hand to the side of her face, his thumb wiping away the single tear that now streamed down her cheek.

"Victoria, your disappointment comes from a place of _love_ , not _selfishness,_ " Albert attested, "You care about him and want him to spend his last holidays surrounded by those who also care for him and admire him, not alone at Brocket Hall. And it's only _right_ that you feel that way."

It killed him to say it, but the words he spoke were the truth and what his wife needed to hear in that moment.

"But he's my _friend_ , not just my subject…I can't order him to come," she sighed, "It wouldn't be right. I'll just have to accept his decision and leave it at that…no matter how much it grieves me."

Albert studied her face for a long moment, then stood when she did and before she could walk around him to the bed, caught her and pulled her into a long embrace.

She gave a small smile as she cuddled into his chest and closed her eyes.

# # # # # # #

 _ **December 31**_ _ **,**_ _ **1847**_

"Ten!..."

"Nine!..."

"Eight…."

"Seven…"

"Six…"

Albert took two glasses of champagne off of a passing waiter's tray and handed one to Victoria as they counted down with their guests in the ball room of St. James' Palace.

"Five…."

"Four…."

"Three…"

"Two…."

"One…."

"Happy New Year!"

Everyone immediately cheered and clinked their glasses with surrounding neighbors before taking a collective drink.

"Happy New Year, Mein Schatz" Albert said as he leaned in an kissed Victoria's cheek.

"Happy New Year..." she replied with a smile

"Music!" a voice called out and soon there was a chorus of voices joining in, with champagne glasses ringing and calling for music and dancing.

Victoria smiled broader as she handed her champagne glass to Albert and came to the head of the room, waving to a pair of gentleman dressed in formal kilts.

"My Lord, Ladies and Gentleman," Victoria announced, "The Edinburgh Scotsman MacClellan"

The musicians bowed to her majesty as she took her leave back to Albert's side, then the older of the two brothers brought his guitar around his shoulder and began to play, then at the interlude, nodded to his brother, who began to sing.

 _ **Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And never brought to mind? **_

Victoria smiled as she suddenly felt Albert's hand wrap around her waist and she turned to face him as she brought her into a standard dance frame, looking into his deep blue as he began to waltz her out onto the dance floor.

 _ **Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And days of auld lang syne?**_

 _ **For auld lang syne, my dear,  
For auld lang syne….**_

Soon, the Prince raised one arm and bid the rest of the party to join them on the dance floor, and within moments, Victoria and Albert were surrounded by happy, laughing, waltzing figures.

 _ **We'll take of kindness yet, for auld lang syne….**_

Albert then brought his gaze back to Victoria, watching her face as they continued to waltz.

She seemed happy enough, but he could tell her mind was still miles away….

At Brocket Hall.

 _ **We twa hae ran about the braes,  
And pou'd the gowans fine…**_

"Victoria," Albert said, bringing his wife's gaze to him as he continued to lead them around the dance floor gracefully then leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I have a gift for you, this New Year."

"Albert…" Victoria said softly, touched by his words as she placed a gentle hand on the side of his face.

 _ **But we've wander'd monie a weary fit  
Sin' auld lang syne…**_

Albert smiled sweetly, heartened by her response, as he picked up their pace and waltzed them around the outside of the floor and toward the large Christmas tree still standing at the far side of the room

 _ **And we twa hae paddled in the burn,  
Frae morning sun till dine;**_

When they reached the back side of the tree, Albert spun her under his arm and released her.

But, nothing awaited her behind the tree.

Victoria turned curiously in a circle then came face to face with her husband.

 _ **But seas between us braid hae roared  
since auld lang syne….**_

"Is there supposed to be something back here?" she asked with a small chuckle

"Not _something_ , silly woman, _someone_ …." Albert smiled then nodded as he looked past her.

When she turned around to follow his gaze, Victoria suddenly saw Lord Melbourne walk around from the other side of the tree toward her.

 _ **For auld lang syne, my dear,  
For auld lang syne…**_

Victoria stood stunned for a moment, then her face crumbled as she and her beloved Lord M locked eyes.

 _ **We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne….**_

Within moments, Melbourne's own face softened as he leaned off of his cane and bowed deeply.

He then stepped forward and Victoria knew that he meant to kiss her hand like always did formally in her presence.

Instead, she quickly closed the distance between them and, ignoring convention and protocol, embraced him.

Melbourne let out a surprised huff, before he smirked as he slowly wrapped his arms around her in return.

After a few moments that felt like eternity, Victoria pulled back and, after wiping under her eyes, gently took Lord Melbourne's cane from him and handed it blindly back to Albert, who stepped forward obediently and took it.

Then, raising her eyes to Lord Melbourne, she said softly, "I want to dance with you, tonight, Lord M."

"I—I am afraid I'm not the dancer I once was, Ma'am—" Melbourne started

" _No one_ is what they once were _,_ Lord Melbourne," Victoria replied, giving a small smile, "But, I hope you know that I shall always care for the man on the _inside_ , not on the _outside_..."

She then took his left hand gently in her right and taking his right forearm in her left hand, guided it to her waste.

"And you needn't worry," she said, bringing her gaze to meet his again, "I shall lead—"

Melbourne smirked as he pulled her closer to him and into a standard dance frame, "Not a chance, Ma'am."

Victoria's smile brightened a little, as Melbourne, gathering his strength and taking in a steadying breath, stepped back and lowly began to slowly waltz them in a circle behind the tree.

Then, after a few pirouettes, Melbourne waltzed them out from behind the tree onto the main dance floor.

 _ **And surely you'll be your pint stoup,  
And surely I'll be mine,  
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne…**_

They moved around the dance floor, weaving throught the other guests, surely and steadily, but not as fast as a traditional waltz.

However, Victoria didn't mind. Nor did she mind that members of her court and her family were staring at her and Lord Melbourne moving around the floor, their eyes locked as though they were the most intimate of companions, not just friends.

There were many whispers of excitement at seeing Lord Melbourne at court once more and what it could mean.

But, the Queen didn't care.

For now she had her Lord M by her side again.

 _ **And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,  
And gie's a hand o' thine,  
And we'll tak a right gude willie waught  
For auld lang syne!**_

Victoria let out a contented sigh as she leaned forward and closed her eyes as she lay her head on Melbourne's shoulder as he moved her slowly around the dance floor and said a prayer for him and the coming year.

 _ **For auld lang syne, my dear,  
For auld lang syne,  
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne. **_


	3. Chapter 3

"How did you manage it?" Victoria whispered happily, her eyes still sparkling as pulled Albert into a side hall just off of the ballroom.

She looked briefly over her shoulder to Lord Melbourne in the center of the ballroom, visiting with members of the court after their dance as the evening started to wind down.

Albert smirked as she took in her happy expression—he loved nothing more than to see her happy—then his face softened as he met her gaze when she turned back to him.

"After our conversation last night…seeing you so distressed…I couldn't sleep…" Albert confessed in a low voice, bringing a hand to brush over Victoria's cheek, "I left before dawn and went to see Lord Melbourne at his home in Derbyshire."

Victoria's eyes softened, "That must have taken most of the night—"

"And most of the day," Albert interjected with a small smile, lowering his hand from her face, "I knew you would be meeting with the ministers and would not miss me if I left you a note saying that I went on the New Year's hunt at Lord Carnavron's estate."

Victoria let out an impressed scoff then smirked as she looked back over her shoulder to Lord Melbourne, her eyes resting lovingly upon him as she whispered, "What did you say to him?"

There was a long moment of silence before Albert said, as Victoria turned back again to face him, "I—I arrived around late morning at his home—he received me formally as any gentleman would—then I personally asked him to reconsider your invitation. He refused…"

Victoria narrowed her eyes as he watched Albert's face turned solemn, then after a moment, he continued, "That is, until, I was leaving and I asked him to reconsider one final time. I—I told him that I knew that there was a part of him that still loved you and that there was a part of you that still loved _him_ and probably _always would_. I told him I have been lucky to have been in love, so I could still see it quite clearly between the two of you—"

"Albert…" Victoria whispered

"I told him that I was the lucky one—that I will get to spend so many years of my future with you, but that it was selfish of me to be the victor because that I knew he wouldn't be so lucky. I told him to be strong, to take hold of the time he had left with you and not to squander it—not for pride or for virtue or for what he or other people thought was best for you—and that if he decided to come to St. James's Palace tonight, he could do so and spend time with you _freely, privately_ and without reservation—that I would not stand in his way…at least, for as long as he is able to be _here_ and make you happy…"

Victoria's eyes welled with tears as Albert smirked, then continued, "I—I didn't think my words made any difference…until I received word from Lord Melbourne's valet, Marc, this afternoon stating that Lord Melbourne would attend the party tonight—"

Victoria let out a breath as she leaned forward and captured Albert's lips with her own, falling into him as they kissed passionately for a few long moments before Victoria pulled back and whispered against his lips, "Thank you."

# # # # # # # #

"You are welcome in the guest quarters tonight," Victoria smiled, half an hour later as she took Lord Melbourne's arm and escorted him up the grand staircase of the palace, Albert walking a few paces behind them, "But, if you would like to stay with us for a _little_ while longer—perhaps a week or two— I would be more than happy to send word to Buckingham Palace and have your old state quarters prepared."

She had stated it as a request and a statement more than a question and Melbourne smiled sweetly, his face softening as he gave a brief glance over his shoulder toward Albert, who nodded his approval.

"I—" Melbourne started, turning back to meet Victoria's eager eyes as they reached the top landing, "I would like that very much, actually—"

Suddenly, the sound of excited little babbling voices and little footsteps could be heard and soon the source of the commotion appeared around the hall corner—the Queen and Prince Escorts four young children.

Vicky, seven years –old, led the charge, crying out in glee as she skipped around in circles in her nightclothes, with her siblings—six year old, Albert, four year-old Alice, and three year –old Alfred – close behind.

"Bobo!" Little Albert suddenly cried out happily upon seeing Melbourne and raced down the hall toward the former prime minister and his mother, his siblings following him happily.

Victoria smiled a bewildered smile upon hearing the nickname and seeing the children suddenly rush forward.

When Albert first learned to walk and talk, Lord Melbourne, who had just retired from public life, had encountered them on the mall during one of their family drives one spring afternoon.

Albert, then barely two, had taken an instant liking to the former Prime Minister and proceeded to call him 'Bobo', much to Victoria and Albert's amusement and proceeded to do so anytime he heard Melbourne's name or saw the man in person over the next year.

A few months later, Melbourne retired to Melbourne Hall in Derbyshire and hadn't had contact with the royal children since.

Now, four years later, everyone seemed stunned (all except little Albert, of course) that the young boy remembered Melbourne at all, let alone his nickname.

But, true to Melbourne's character and his affinity for young children, Victoria watched as the former prime minister released her arm and handed her his cane as he opened his arms and prepared to receive his young visitor.

"Bertie!" he chuckled, calling the little boy by the nickname he had suggested to his mother upon his birth, as the prince readily jumped into his arms and Melbourne, without a bit of a struggle, lifted him up and smiled as he beheld the young boy's face, "How's my favorite little chap, hmmm?"

Bertie giggled as he played with the brocade on Melbourne's formal jacket, then thrashed a bit as Melbourne tickled him mercilessly with his free hand, holding the boy close to him and laughing with him as Bertie cried out gleefully and tried to free himself from Melbourne's iron grip.

Vicky soon appeared at Melbourne's side and wrapped her arms lovingly around his right leg.

Within moments, she had company as little Alfred and Alice toddled up and took hold of Melbourne's opposite leg.

"Oh…dear…" Victoria chuckled as Albert came to her side to behold the sight.

"Children!" the Prince Escort laughed as he picked up little Alfred, "Let's be kind hosts and not devour Lord Melbourne!"

"My sincerest apologies, your majesty!" the royal nanny said, a mixture of amusement and exasperation crossing her face, as she brought up the children's rear, "I've had a dreadful time keeping them in bed tonight—all the commotion on the mall outside with the New Year and all—"

"It's alright, Baroness," Victoria soothed, then smiled as she took in the sight of Melbourne bending down now and engaging with little Vicky, holding Albert in one arm at his knee as little Alice tried climb up onto his opposite shoulder.

"Yes," Albert said, "I'll help you put the children to bed."

Then, giving Victoria a knowing smile, signalling his leave of her, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "Goodnight, Mein Shantz."

"Goodnight…" Victoria replied, then reached over and stroked little Alfred's dark hair lovingly

"Kinder, Zeit fürs bett!" Albert suddenly called out, shifting Alfred in his arms as he walked back toward his three other children who were now clinging to Melbourne's legs happily—Victoria standing on his right foot, clinging to his knee and Bertie and Alice on his left— and laughing in amusement as he walked them down the hall, "Lass uns gehen!"

"Must we, Papa?" Vicky complained, clinging tightly to Lord Melbourne's trouser leg

"Ya", Albert replied, his face turning a little more stern, "Sprich gute Nacht zu Lord Melbourne."

"Goodnight Lord Melbourne!" Vicky smiled, immediately obeying and hopping off of Melbourne's leg and kissing his right hand before sprinting off down the hall ahead of her father and her nanny.

"Goodnight, Bobo!" Bertie cried out happily as he squeezed Melbourne's knee lovingly, then disembarked Melbourne's left leg and Melbourne grazed a hand loving over the boys head as he passed in front of him.

"Goodnight, doodlebugs!" Melbourne called after Vicky and Bertie, then smiled as he looked down and around to little Alice, still clinging to his leg, refusing to let go.

" _Who is this?!_ " Melbourne suddenly cried out playfully as he reached around and extracted the little girl from his leg, bringing her into his arms, " _Who's still got me?!"_

Then he leaned forward and with a playful growl kissed the place between the little girl's neck and her right cheek, causing her to squeal in delight, _"Who's still got me?!"_

"Goodnight, little one..." Melbourne smirked when he pulled back, taking in the face of the little girl—the face that reminded him so much of her mother—Alice still giggling happily as he bent down and released her to run toward her waiting father and take his hand.

As Melbourne rose to his feet again, his eyes met Victoria's a few feet away.

He could see it in her eyes and he knew that she could see it in his…

A shadow of what might have been, but never could be.


	4. Chapter 4

"You needn't have walked me, Ma'am…" Lord Melbourne smiled as they arrived at the doors to the palace guest chambers and Victoria gently released his arm and handed him his cane.

"Is it wrong of me to want to spend as much time as possible with you, Lord Melbourne, now that you're here?" Victoria replied

Lord Melbourne's eyes softened as the smile faded to the corners of his mouth, "No."

They held eachother's gaze for a long moment before Melbourne said, "Well, it's quite late Ma'am, but I find that I am wide awake…which, sad to say, is a feat for a man of my age…"

He chuckled as he trailed off for a moment before a twinkle returned to his eye, " _Therefore_ , I would like to propose a small celebration... Would you like to come in and join me, Ma'am?"

Victoria let out a small breath, relieved not to have to leave his side as she smiled sweetly, "Yes."

# # # # # # # #

"My Lord," Marc greeted as Melbourne came in through the chamber door, taking his master's cane and rounding him to take his tuxedo jacket from his shoulders, but stopped immediately when he saw the Queen enter casually behind Lord Melbourne.

"Your Majesty," Marc immediately bowed deeply, his face confused as he righted himself

"Marc, please lift your jaw up off of the floor and assist me with my coat, it's rather warm in here," Melbourne jested

"Yes, My Lord," Marc replied, immediately folding Melbourne's cane under his arm and turning on his heal to slip his master's jacket off of his shoulders, "How are you feeling, Sir?"  
 **  
**"As well as can be expected, Thank you, Marc," Melbourne replied as his manservant folded his jacket over his arm, stepped back and watched his lord turn and signal for Victoria to take a seat on the settee in front of the fireplace, "Please Ma'am…after you…"

Victoria smiled as she did so, folding her hands in a dignified manner in her lap as she waited for him to sit down next to her.

"We require two Brandys, Please, Marc…" Lord Melbourne said over his shoulder but kept his eyes on Victoria sitting across from him as he folded the sleeves of his shirt up

"But, Sir, Dr. Halmett—" Marc interjected

"And make sure the Queen's glass is properly warmed," Melbourne added sternly, ignoring the man's protests.

"Yes, Sir," Marc bowed faithfully and exited the room, leaving Melbourne and Victoria sitting across from each other on the settee.

"So…" Victoria smirked, adjusting her dress nervously and her eyes wandered for a moment away from Melbourne's intense gaze on her, "What would you like to talk about?"

"I want to talk my favorite subject… _"_ Melbourne replied softly and Victoria relaxed and smiled as she raised an eyebrow, turning her gaze back to her Lord M.

"You," Melbourne finished

# # # # # # # #

 _ **Three hours later….**_

Albert's bright blue eyes blinked opened as he turned over on his side of the bed in Victoria's chambers.

They fixed on the clock in the corner of the room, squinting against the early morning sunlight.

6:39am

Albert gave a small groan and turned over under the covers.

His body was trying to get him up at his usual time, but he wasn't going to have it.

Not today.

And not after the New Year's Ball last night…

After he danced and drank _far too much_ champagne…

He was not used to staying up so late, but Victoria loved parties and he always tried to please her in any way he could.

Albert had just willed himself to fall back asleep when there was a sharp knock, one that he had been expecting, at the door and soon one of the Queen's ladies entered.

"Oh!" the lady cried when she saw Albert's form in the Queen's bed, "Your Royal highness!"

She then bowed deeply as Albert came to sit up sleepily on his elbows in his nightshirt.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked in a husky voice

"My sincerest apologies, Sir," the lady replied, "The Queen's dresser is here for her Majesty's usual wake up call—"

" _Today?"_ Albert said, pretending to be annoyed, "After a ball that ran to all hours? For Mercy sake, tell the poor woman to bugger off and go back to bed…"

He then nodded over to the mass under the blankets next to him, "That's what my wife is doing and _that's_ where we _all_ belong after such frivolity. Now leave us!"

He then groaned as he fell back on the pillows again and pulled the blankets up over himself.

"Yes, Your Royal Highness," the lady immediately responded and left the room.

Albert smiled to himself as he settled back in under the covers.

He was smart enough to know that if her ladies in waiting had seen him in Victoria's bed that they would let "them" alone.

Albert turned and beheld his "wife"—four large feather pillows he had piled under the blankets next to him.

The last thing they needed was for there to be more of a wind of a scandal with Lord Melbourne under their roof.

Albert snuggled up to the pillows, placing one arm over them, and immediately fell back asleep.

# # # # # # #

Victoria took in a soft breath and turned her head on the pillow and shifted under the blanket over her, hearing the ball gown she was still wearing rustle as her eyes blinked, then widened, as she took in her surroundings.

She was in a bedroom that was not her own and when she rolled over, she smirked when she saw Lord Melbourne lying next to her, his breathing shallow and steady as he slept in the dress shirt, vest and trousers he had worn the night before, a sword lying in the space between them.

Victoria bit her lip and her eyes softened as she realized the chivalry in the act.

Then reaching out over the sword, she touched his shoulder.

Melbourne took in a deep breath and his golden eyes blinked opened before he turned his head and his gaze met Victoria's.

"Good Morning, Lord M," she whispered with a small smile.

"I insist, that all well –bred ladies that wake up next to me in my bed call me _William_ ," he smirked

"Very well," Victoria laughed as she adjusted her blankets, "Good Morning _,_ William…"

"Good Morning," he smiled, the reached down to his vest pocket and pulled out his pocket watch and flipped it open, then grimaced as he closed it and sat it on his chest and looked over at her once more, "I hope you aren't offended, Ma'am. Not surprisingly, you fell asleep in my less than _stimulating_ company last night and I had Marc carry you in here to rest. But, not wishing to sleep on the settee—the thing is _bloody uncomfortable_ , if I'm being completely honest—I came in and lay down with you."

"So I see, Sir Knight…" Victoria mused, her eyes indicating the sword lying long ways between them as a boundary line.

" _Ah_ …" Melbourne's tired face brightened a little, "So you are familiar with King Arthur and his Knights…"

"As you know, I was forbidden to read many books when I was young," Victoria smiled sweetly, "But Albert has been helping me make up for that. We read to each other constantly and one of my favorites that he's read aloud to me was the story of King Arthur. It was…Lancelot? Am I correct? Who lay down his sword in the bed between himself and a maiden to protect her virtue?"

"Galahad," Lord Melbourne replied, his eyes soft as he adjusted his arm behind his head on the pillow, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again, "Lancelot was the handsome, gentle one, who could do no wrong—Galahad was… _well_ , he was a little more rough around the edges, truth be told—"

"But he had a kind and chivalrous heart as I recall," Victoria interjected, realizing that they weren't talking about the characters in the book any longer.

Melbourne turned his head slightly and started at her for a long moment, then sighed, closing his eyes once more as he shifted his arm again and lay his head back on the pillow as he rested the back of his hand against his forehead.

"Are you alright?" Victoria asked, her eyes turning worried as they narrowed, "You look rather pale this morning."

"I think it was just all the excursion last night, Ma'am—just more activity and longer hours than I'm used to…" Melbourne replied and his voice lowered as it trailed off and his eyes opened and dilated a little," I…I…just… need rest… I think. I have a bit of a head…"

When he didn't finish the rest of his thought, Victoria touched his arm again and he it was like he came back to reality.

"An _awfu_ l… headache, actually..." he finished and gave a slow smile

"Well, I'll call for breakfast then," Victoria sat up , gently tossing her blanket aside and adjusting her hair, "I'm certain you'll feel better once you've eaten a little something. Then, I'll leave you to rest the remainder of the day and then we can—"

Melbourne suddenly reached across the sword to gently take her hand, an action that surprised her.

His eyes were lazy and distant as he whispered, "Not alone…You're here...I'm…not alone anymore…"

Victoria opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly, Melbourne's hand dropped from her arm and he convulsed back on the pillow, his eyes wide as he gasped for breath.

" _Oh, my God_!" Victoria cried, leaning over the sword and taking Melbourne's face in her hands, holding him steady as he convulsed and gasped as though he was trying to speak, but couldn't.

"Oh…no…no… _no_ …William! _William_! Can you hear me?!" she cried as she looked into Melbourne's blank face

Suddenly, he started shaking, his skin turning paler as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Marc, who must have heard the commotion, burst into the room in only his night shirt and hastily put on trousers.

He quickly rounded to Melbourne's side of the bed, took one look at Melbourne and immediately said to Victoria, "I think he's having another stroke. I'll call for his physician!"

Then he took off, flinging himself around the end of the bed by way of one of the bed posts.

"Stay with him!" he called over his shoulder as he dashed out of the room.

Melbourne's eyes rolled forward again and he tried to focus on her as tears came to Victoria's eyes and she whispered as placed another pillow under his head to keep him comfortable, "William…It's Victoria…I'm here…I'm _right here_ …Can you see me? You're _not_ alone...alright? You're not alone…"

Lord Melbourne let out another gasp as his eyes began to water, still his lips moved, trying to speak, but he couldn't.

Then his eyes fluttered as he seemed to fall in and out of consciousness, his head falling to one side, limp in Victoria's hands.

"No…No…Please…Lord M," she whispered, leaning her forehead to the side of his face as she wept,"Don't leave me…Not yet… _Don't go_...Please...I love you..."


	5. Chapter 5

" _William…"_ Victoria's voice sounded muffled in his ears above him, " _William…_ "

"William…" Another familiar voice suddenly beckoned him softly.

Caroline.

Lord Melbourne blinked his eyes open to a golden light filling his bedroom—the brightest sunlight he'd seen in decades.

As he slowly took in his surroundings from where he lay, his eyes narrowed in curiosity and then widened in recognition.

He was no longer in the guest chambers at St. James' Palace, but in his and Caroline's bedroom in their first home in London.

"Good Morning, my love…" Caroline's voice whispered and Melbourne turned his head on the pillow to see his young wife lying next to him, the golden light surrounding her like a halo, their infant son lying in the space between them.

Melbourne smiled as he looked down to Augustus and the baby flailed his arms excitedly to see his father, taking Melbourne's offered fingers and promptly placing them happily in his mouth.

"How long have I been asleep?" Melbourne asked, his eyes softening with love and devotion as they turned to his wife.

Caroline gave a small smile, "It feels like a _lifetime_ … But, you're here now…"

She looked down to Augustus still trying to eat his father's hand happily, "We've missed you."

# # # # # # #

"William…" Dr. Halmett, putting his bag down at his feet as he came to Melbourne's bedside, tossing his stethoscope around his neck before leaning forward and taking Lord Melbourne's pale and placid face from Victoria and into his own hands as the Queen sat back out of his way on the other side of the bed.

She watched intently with worried blue eyes as Dr. Halmett lifted open one of Lord M's closed eyelids, then the other, then brought his ear to Lord Melbourne's nose and mouth, assessing his breathing.

"How long has he been like this?" the doctor's gaze immediately turned to Victoria as he pulled the stethoscope from his neck and into his ears.

"We woke together around six…thirty?" Victoria replied, trying to keep her voice calm and even, "We were just talking and then he fell unrespondent, then soon after, unconscious. He's been like that ever since—"

"Has he had any alcohol?" Dr. Halmett asked as he opened Melbourne's shirt hastily and placed the other end of the stethoscope to the former prime minister's bare chest

"Yes, Sir…" Marc's voice croaked from the end of the bed, "Brandy…last night—"

" _Damn it,_ William…" Dr. Halmett sighed, pulling the stethoscope from his ears before turning his attention to the bag at his feet, opening it and pulling from it a reflex stick. He then quickly set to work, tapping hard it against Melbourne's arms and legs at the joints.

None of them moved.

Victoria let out a sudden gasp and brought her hand to her mouth as she closed her eyes.

"No…" Dr. Halmett muttered in shock under his breath as he picked up Melbourne's right hand and swiftly grabbed an ink quill from Melbourne's bedside table to prick the ends of his fingers.

Again, no response…

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph…" Marc whispered from the end of the bed

Victoria opened her eyes, tears streaming down them as she watched the doctor lean down and pull an oxygen regulator mask from his bag.

"He's suffered an apoplexic episode," the doctor said, then looked between the two of them before he said more plainly, "A stroke. He's in a bad way. He is breathing, but it's shallow and his nervous system isn't responding like it should. I think he's not getting enough oxygen. _It's a risk—_ it could backfire to oxygenate the blood so much—but it might at least bring him around enough to start his nervous system again. We'll give it a go, though, shall we?"

"Your Majesty…" Marc said, pulling Victoria's eyes from Dr. Halmett as he placed the oxygen mask over Melbourne's face and began squeezing the bulb. "No doubt this has been an ordeal for you. If you would like to return to your chambers, Ma'am, I can—"

"For now, I'm not _going anywhere,_ " Victoria stated in a matter of fact tone before turning again to Melbourne and the doctor working on him, wiping the tears on her cheeks away.

"Doctor, what can I do?" she asked, her eyes worried but her face stoic as she looked into the doctor's eyes from the other side of the bed.

Dr. Halmett stepped back and handed over the bulb of the oxygen mask to her, "Here. You can squeeze his on every three count, slow and steady…Marc…" he continued, turning to Melbourne's valet, "I need you to help me. Bring some more pillows. We are going to re position him—his arms, his legs, everything—to create better blood flow."

"Yes, doctor," Marc said, then disappeared through the bedroom door

Victoria watched him leave for a long moment then turned back to Lord M, unconscious below her, his beautiful, rugged face hidden beneath the oxygen mask.

She counted methodically to herself as she squeezed the mask and just concentrated on his face.

Her face own softened as she remembered the first time she had beheld it—studied it truly.

It had been the morning after she had been declared Queen, when Melbourne had come to Kensington Palace to see her for their first audience.

She remembered how dashing a figure he was, but his face—that truly stood out.

It was perfectly shaped and his jaw, chiseled.

His cheek bones were high, but his face as full as a young man, though his temples held some small hints of gray and so did his sideburns.

Melbourne's face then did not carry the cares it did now.

Time and distance from the people and things they truly love, does that to men, Victoria supposed.

"Your Majesty…" Dr. Halmett's voice came, breaking her thoughts

Victoria turned to meet his gaze, saying nothing

"If you wish to talk to him," Dr. Halmett said encouragingly, giving a nod, "I think it might help bring him back around."

Victoria opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out, she turned her eyes again to her beloved Lord M lying helplessly on the bed below her.

Just then, Marc re-entered the room with the requested pillows and he and the doctor set to work, moving Melbourne into different positions.

Victoria paid them no mind.

Her focus was only on Lord M.

After a moment, she leaned forward and whispered as she continued squeezing the oxygen bulb.

"William…if you can hear me… _come back…"_ she closed her eyes " _Please_ , come back."

She reopened her eyes, but nothing had changed.

Lord M still lay unconscious and unmoving.

Victoria sighed, "You know, I was just thinking about the first day we met—the first day I saw your face—"

Suddenly she paused as Dr. Halmett came into view, readjusting Melbourne's head on the pillows under him.

After a moment, he pulled back and Victoria continued, "And I was thinking about every aspect of it—every detail—I remember it _so clearly_ in my mind. I'm sure, one day, when I'm very old and gray, I won't remember my own name, but I'll remember your face, Lord M…"

Victoria's lip trembled a bit as she tried to check her emotions, focusing on squeezing the bulb for a few long moments before she continued, her face going stoic again, "Shall I tell you my face part of your face? Can you guess what it is?"

Victoria waited, but Melbourne still lay unconscious under the mask.

" _Your eyes_ ," Victoria smiled softly, "Your beautiful golden hazel eyes…oh, how I long to see them again…And, how they used to look at me…approvingly, disapprovingly, lovingly, apprehensively…"

Victoria's face crumbled slightly as she broke her stoic mask and leaned forward, closer, " _Please… God…_ let me see those eyes again."

# # # # # # # # #

"Vicky, now let's try again. This time—'I have two brothers who live in England' …" Albert instructed, sitting across from his oldest daughter in the children's nursery as the littlest ones played on the floor together and Bertie erected buildings out of blocks in the corner of the room.

Vicky nodded, then said politely, her little hands folded in her lap, "J'ai deux frères— ''

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and both Vicky and her Papa turned as the nursery door opened and the Prince Consort's valet, Edgar, stepped inside.

He bowed stiffly at the waist then said, "Your Highness, as requested, I was discreet as I went to the palace's guest chambers this morning to relay your message to her Majesty…but…when I got there…"

Suddenly, Edgar stopped and his face grew pale as his words trailed off.

"What is it?" Albert asked, his face furrowing with worry

"Sir," Edgar said in an insistent tone, his eyes turning pained, "I think you'd better come."

Albert nodded sternly, then stood from his chair and walked briskly to the door adjoining to the next room.

"Baroness, please watch over the children. I have to leave."

"Yes, Your Royal Highness," came the reply as a shadow approached the other side of the door and Albert kissed little Vicky's forehead, then turned back to his chair and pulled his overcoat off of the back of it.

"I'll be back later my darlings," he said over his shoulder to the children as Edgar stepped to one side, bowing again as Albert passed through the threshold and started briskly down the hallway as he shrugged on his coat.

# # # # # # # #

Albert climbed the grand stair case two at a time, Edgar on his heels, his face suddenly falling when he reached the landing and saw Victoria, still in her ball gown from the previous evening, leaning heavily against the wall in the hallway, sobbing.

"Victoria!" Albert called out to her as he ran down the hall to her

She immediately turned when she heard his voice and threw herself into his arms as he picked her up with little effort and held her close to him.

"Oh…Albert…" She cried into his shoulder, "It's Lord M. He's had another stoke."

Albert closed his eyes and let out a long breath as he brought his hand to the back of Victoria's hair and smoothed it soothingly.

"Victoria…I'm _sorry_ …" Albert whispered as his wife pulled back and Albert could see her tear-stained face more clearly.

"He's been unconscious for the last hour or more. The Dr. Halmett is here and is doing the best he can to bring him around but it isn't working. I stayed to help, but he's bleeding him now to alleviate the pressure and I couldn't watch anymore, I just couldn't! Lord M—he's just _…lying there_ …so small and helpless and _dying_ …" Victoria's lips trembled as her face crumbled, "Oh…Albert… He can't leave…I'm not ready for him to leave…I love him… _he can't die, I love him_ …"

Albert quickly pulled Victoria back into his embrace, holding her tight against his chest as her hyperventilating words dissolved into sobs.

# # # # # # #

Lord Melbourne closed his eyes.

He could hear her voice in the back of his mind, pleading…her words speaking softly to him, willing him back to her.

He could hear every word…

Victoria.

His Victoria.

Melbourne opened his eyes again and looked up on the face of his wife and son before he leaned in to Caroline and gave her a long, deep kiss.

When he pulled back, he leaned down and kissed Augustus' small head as the baby cooed.

"William?" Caroline questioned as she studied his face, telling something was wrong

"I have to go," Melbourne said, his voice resigned, "I have to go back."

"William…" Caroline started

"When it's time, I will come back to you, Caro, _I promise_ …" Melbourne said with a small smile, gently stroking her cheek with the back of his hand and she closed her eyes at his touch, "But it's not my time— _not yet_. I'm not ready for it to be. She needs me. And as long as someone still needs me, I belong in the world. I have to fight."

Caroline's eyes turned sad and forlorn, but she gave a soft smile of her own in response before she took his right hand in hers and squeezed hard.

"Then…Go… back…William…" she said, her gaze meeting his until he blinked and suddenly, everything went dark again...

Except for a deep voice echoing in the distance.

" _William…"_

# # # # # # #

Lord Melbourne flinched, the first awareness being a hard squeeze on his right hand, the smell of blood and a horrid pinching in the crook of his right arm.

"William?" Dr. Halmett's voice called over him, his voice rising as he saw Melbourne start to come around, "William!"

He smacked the side of Lord Melbourne's face with his free hand, willing the man to open his eyes.

"Come on old son, that's it, wake up…" Dr. Halmett encouraged and Lord Melbourne groaned in pain as he is eyes fluttered open.

"Oh! My Lord," Marc's voice suddenly sounded nearby and Melbourne's eyes focused enough to see his valet sitting on the left side of the bed next to him, his face instantly filling with relief, "Welcome back."

Melbourne turned his head slowly toward Dr. Halmett and the man gave him a reassuring smile as he bandaged Melbourne's forearm where he had opened his vein for bloodletting and pulled the bowl away, setting it on the bedside table.

"V-'' Melbourne mumbled, but found his speech slurring in his own ears, so he tried again, "Vic— Vi—'

He sighed then took in a shallow breath as he gave in, resigned the fact that he couldn't even say her name.

Melbourne's thoughts were muffled and he closed his eyes, for he suddenly, felt tired—very tired.

He didn't think anyone had heard him, but Marc had.

The valet's face softened as he touched his master's shoulder, then leaped off of the other side of the bed.

"William, I need you to stay awake," Dr. Halmett said, taking hold of Melbourne's chin and the former prime minister jerked awake, his eyes rolling in his head trying to focus.

"Can you feel this?" Dr. Halmett asked, lifting up Melbourne's right bandaged forearm.

Melbourne nodded slowly.

Dr. Halmett smiled, then grabbed Melbourne's right leg, "And this?"

Melbourne nodded weakly.

Dr. Halmett sighed in relief then set about grabbing his left leg, "How about this?"

Melbourne grimaced, then nodded again

# # # # # #

"Your Majesty!" Marc called and Victoria immediately stepped out of Albert's grasp to turn and behold Melbourne's valet standing outside the doors to the guest chambers.

"Your Majesty! My Lord is awake. He's asking for you Ma'am." Marc relayed with a relieved smile.

Victoria briefly turned back to Albert, a small hopeful smile spreading across her own face.

"Go…" Albert encouraged, touching her cheek before he released her and she lifted the hem of her gown and sprinted down the hallway to the door as he followed at a slower pace.

# # # # # #

"Lord M…" Victoria said softly, her voice drawing the focus of Melbourne's gaze to her as Dr. Helmett moved and Victoria appeared in his place, sitting on the bed next to him as she gently took his right hand into her own, "You're back."

Melbourne's face softened and he blinked, trying to keep his eyes open …

He was still so very tired.

But, he kept them open.

He so much wanted to look upon her face.

Victoria kissed his hand, then touched his forehead, running her free hand gently through his hair.

Melbourne wanted to speak to her, but feared he couldn't say an entire sentence.

If anything, he wanted her to know know that he had heard her voice and her words to him.

So, he would have to try.

"Missed...my...ey-e-s…" he said in a low voice then raised an eyebrow, "did...you?"

Victoria's face crumbled at his words and a relieved smile crossed her lips as she nodded

"How…do…" Melbourne grimaced as he struggled with the words, "you…find… the—em?" he asked, his voice not sounding very much like his own.

Victoria leaned forward, resting her chin on the back of his hand in hers, staring into those golden hazel eyes deeply once more.

"Just as beautiful as ever…" she replied, a tear falling down her right cheek.


	6. Chapter 6

**((Thanks for following the story, all. This is the end for now unless you all have suggestions as to what you would like to read. The song for the set of viniettes at the end is "Leave Something Behind" by Sean Rowe. Enjoy!))**

 **January 25, 1848**

Victoria smiled in wonderment as she lowered the telescope Lord Melbourne had gifted her for her birthday nearly a decade before from her eye and stared up to the star constellations with her naked eye as she sat on the window seat in her and Albert's chambers.

"Victoria, you need to sleep," Albert's voice came from the large canopy bed in the corner of the room behind her as he sighed and rolled over, "You and the child you carry need rest. _Please…_ it's late…or I suppose early, depending on how you look at it.''

"I was just thinking what it must be like to be a star—burning bright every night to the eventuality of my own detriment," Victoria said softly thoughtfully as she folded the telescope, then turned on the seat to look at Albert in bed.

But, he just sighed again, his eyes still closed as he muttered, "Mein Shantz, it's _much too late_ for such philosophical discussions—perhaps over tea in the morning we can discuss you becoming a star…until then…"

Victoria scoffed softly then took in a breath as she lowered the telescope and sat in on the window seat, then holding her growing stomach, lifted herself up and put her feet on the floor.

Albert was right. Victoria needed the rest.

Especially with the day she had ahead of her—her usual council meeting, then the audience with the PM, then her visit to her children, then to Lord M, who had resided with them these last two weeks at Buckingham Palace since his stroke after the New Year.

He was responding well to treatment from Dr. Halmett at the palace and she was convinced that being with the royal family was doing him some good.

She definitely knew it was doing _her_ good.

Melbourne was walking and talking well—though not quite back to his old self.

Victoria closed her eyes in pain as she realized that Lord Melbourne would _never_ be the same man she once knew.

Age had changed him…as she knew it must change everyone.

But, to him, she thought, it had come on fast and had been unnecessarily cruel.

She had just padded halfway across the room when she heard their one year old daughter, Helena, crying down the hall in the nursery.

As the cries grew louder, Victoria watched Albert shift again under the blankets, confident as Victoria was, that the Baroness, the royal nanny, would take care of her.

Victoria shed her robe gently, tossing it to the end of the bed before carefully climbing the steps up into bed next to her husband.

When she had burrowed under the covers and lay back on the pillows, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked toward the door, hearing their daughter still crying.

The nanny's room was adjoining the children's nursery…

Why had the child not been tended?

Usually, the crying died down by now.

At this rate, she would wake up their four other children.

Victoria took in a sharp breath as she tossed the bed clothes off of her again and, throwing her robe over her shoulders once more, descended the steps slowly, giving a loving look to Albert still slumbering hard in their bed.

She then pulled open the door and peeked out into the hall, following the noise of the poor crying child down the corridor as she held her robes tightly around her with one hand and twisting her long, loose falling hair over her right shoulder with the other as she moved.

But, within a few feet of the nursery door, she heard the crying turn to whimpering, then taper off.

Victoria smiled satisfied, then slowly turned on her heel to start back to her chambers, but she was stopped in her tracks when she came face to face with the Baroness.

"Your Majesty," the royal nanny curtsied

"Baroness…" Victoria's eyes widened as the woman rose once more, "But…if you're _here_ …"

Suddenly, Victoria's words trailed off as she heard soft humming from inside the nursery.

It was a man's tone.

The Baroness followed Victoria as the Queen moved slowly toward the door and gently pushed it open, her eyes softening when she looked inside and beheld Lord Melbourne in the dim light of the gas lamp.

He was in his night robes and slippers and a sweet expression crossed his face as he looked down into the crib, his right hand slowly caressing little Helena's chest as she lay under her blankets, her bright blue eyes focused on Lord Melbourne as he continued to hum a tune to sooth her.

After a few moments began to sing the words to the melody he had hummed.

" _Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green…When I am Kng, dilly, dilly, You shall be Queen…"_

Victoria leaned her head on the door frame as she watched as Helena's eyes fluttered, then closed peacefully and Melbourne slowly retracted his hand from the baby's chest, then ran it over the soft hair on her forehead.

" _Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so…"_

Helena whimpered in her sleep and Melbourne smirked before slowly pulling his hand away and straightening, then turning to the four other children lying in bed.

" _Call up your men, dilly, dilly, set them to work…Some to the plough, dilly, dilly, some to the rock…"_

Melbourne walked slowly, resting on his cane as he moved past Alice and Alfred, slumbering soundly in twin beds next to each other.

 _"Some to make hay, dilly, dilly, some to cut corn…While you and I, dilly, dilly, keep ourselves warm…"_

He stopped at Bertie's bed, smiling softly at the young boy sitting up in bed with his covers wrapped around him, his sister's crying having awoken him.

" _Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, Lavender's blue…If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you…"_

Little Bertie gave a crooked smile as Melbourne brushed his hand over the boy's chestnut brown hair, then rested it on the young Prince's shoulder, easing him back down into bed.

" _Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly, and the lambs play… We shall be safe, dilly, dilly, out of harm's way…"_

Bertie complied easily, his eyes turning sleepy as Melbourne continue to sing as he moved on to Vicky's bed, where the eldest of Victoria and Albert's children lay on her pillows, watching him intently as he approached and, shifting his cane in his hand, sat down shakily on the edge of her bed.

" _I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to sing…When I am Queen, dilly, dilly, you'll be my King…"_

Vicky smiled sweetly at him as he tucked her in tighter under her covers then lightly and lovingly touched the end of her nose with his index finger.

" _Who told me so, dilly, dilly, Who told me so? I told myself, dilly, dilly, I told me so…"_

Content, Vicky closed her eyes, turned her head and fell back asleep as Melbourne used his cane to stand up again and walk across the floor, his eyes scanning over the now sleeping children.

 _"Lavender's green, dilly dilly, Lavender's blue…"_

Suddenly, he slowed his movements as his eyes shifted ahead to the door and he suddenly locked eyes with the Queen, his eyes widening a little when he noticed her, but he kept singing to the children.

" _If you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you…"_

Victoria straightened, leaning off the door frame as she smiled at him, her eyes softening as he continued to approach her.

" _Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?"_

As he moved closer, Victoria and the Baroness stepped back into the hall to let him pass through the threshold as he gave one last parting glance over his shoulder into the nursery.

 _'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so..."_ Melbourne sang as he closed the door softly behind him.

# # # # # # # #

"Ma'am…" Lord Melbourne smirked as he leaned on his cane and bowed to her as he stood across from Victoria in the hall, "Forgive me…"

"For what?" Victoria asked, her eyes soft, "You have nothing to apologize for. You need to stop asking for my forgiveness. There is nothing to forgive, Lord M. If anything, I owe _you_ … _for so much_ …not the other way around."

Melbourne's face softened and he opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes shifted to the Baroness.

Victoria noticed his gaze move and looked over her shoulder to the royal nanny, "Baroness, you may leave us."

"Of course, Ma'am…" The Baroness curtsied then looked to Melbourne, "Thank you, Lord Melbourne. Goodnight."

Melbourne nodded then watched as the Baroness passed between himself and the Queen, disappearing through the nursery door, shutting it softly behind her.

"May I walk you back to your door, Ma'am?" Lord Melbourne asked, leaning forward on his cane with a smile

"Oh, that's not necessary, Lord M—" Victoria started, but then suddenly realized that Melbourne had something to say to her

She stopped short and only nodded her assent

Melbourne gave a little wider smile that disappeared to the corners of his mouth and offered her his good arm.

Victoria took hold of it and turned on her heel, walking steadily with him down the hall to her and Albert's room.

"You're wonderful, you know that?" Victoria whispered, leaning in to him

"Really?" Melbourne asked, feigning surprise, "How so?"

"The children adore you…especially Bertie and Vicky. You are wonderful with them…" Victoria replied, tightening her grip on Melbourne's arm lovingly

"It doesn't take talent to relate to children," Melbourne said nonchalantly

"Oh, but I think it _does_ ," Victoria said with a small laugh, "I am not particularly good with them—never have been. I bear them," she said, bringing her free hand to rest on her stomach, "But, I don't think they particularly enjoy my company."

"Ma'am," Melbourne soothed, "I don't believe that to be true."

"Oh, but it is," Victoria interjected, "They love me because I'm their mother, but it's Albert the children adore. He's so attentive and playful with them. I wish I was like that. But, I think…I think I have a hard time relating to them because I suppose—well, I suppose I never really had a childhood. I never was able to just…be a child."

"That's understandable that you feel that way, in the beginning, Ma'am…" Melbourne relented, "Most parents feel inadequate at one point or another, but as the years pass, so will that feeling. And it will become easier to be close to your children…so close that when they leave you…" He trailed off as his voice broke audibly

There was a long silence between them before Victoria tried to change the subject to something lighter, "I don't think I've ever heard you sing before."

Melbourne smirked, "It's just an old folk song Ma'am."

"Really?" Victoria asked, "Where did you learn it?"

"My Mother used to sing it to me when I was a young boy...and when Augustus was little, those nights when I would sit in the dark and hold his hand after Caro left..."

Melbourne trailed off again and Victoria took in a deep breath, knowing that she didn't succeed in diverting his thoughts

"You'd sing to him," Victoria finished

Melbourne nodded

"You miss being a father, don't you?" Victoria asked

Melbourne's eyes turned sad as he slowed his steps and turned to her, "I do… _very much_."

Victoria gave a sad smile in return.

Melbourne narrowed his eyes in thought for a moment then looked around him briefly before he stepped forward and spoke in a low tone, "Can I tell you a secret?"

Victoria looked taken aback for a moment then nodded, her eyes softening as they focused on him, his own face suddenly sullen and vulnerable.

"There are nights that—" Melbourne started, then stopped, letting out a sigh as he looked down to his hands, folded on the top of his cane, "No God fearing man would be saying this…"

Victoria stepped forward and immediately took his hand in her own, reassuringly.

Melbourne looked up to her and met her gaze.

"You have always spoken the truth to me Lord Melbourne…" Victoria said, "Always...well, with a bit of flare and flattery thrown in here and there…but that must come from the romantic days of your own youth."

Melbourne chuckled, then sighed, "Quite right, Ma'am. And Heaven help us, we may have Lord Byron to thank for that."

Victoria chuckled and Melbourne smiled in victory. He always enjoyed making her smile and laugh, lightening their moments together

After watching her for a few moments, Melbourne bit his lip and his face turned solemn again as he said, "I—I –I miss my boy." Then he gave a sad smirk as his eyes welled and he gave a self-deprecating shrug, "And, well...lately, I find myself wishing that I would fall asleep and not wake up…just so that I might see him again."

Victoria's face fell as she realized the honesty, truth and… _weight_ in Melbourne's words.

"William…" she whispered as she stepped forward and brought her free hand to rest on the side of his face as he closed his eyes in pain at her touch.

After a few beats, Lord Melbourne opened his eyes and turned into her hand, kissing the palm before she gently pulled her hand back and his steady gaze met hers.

"And now that you know the truth of my situation and my desires, I cannot let you witness them if they come to pass. To that end, I have already arranged to leave… tomorrow. "

" _Tomorrow?_ " Victoria whispered, taken aback, "Lord M, you don't have to. You may stay as long as you wish—"

"I've already outstayed my welcome," Melbourne replied, "You've just been too kind to say so. No. I must return to Brocket Hall. It's time. I don't want to be a burden—"

"You could never outstay your welcome or be a burden, Lord M," Victoria said immediately, " _I love you..._.and I don't want to you leave me…not yet. I'm _not_ ready—"

Melbourne's eyes softened at her words and he gave a small smile as he looked down to her hand still in his, unsure what to say.

Victoria took in a sharp breath and immediately walked forward and embraced Lord M around the chest, burying her face deep into his robes as she hugged him tightly.

Melbourne gave a small huff of surprise then closed his eyes as he relished her proximity, resting his chin on the crown of her head as his free arm wrapped around her gently.

"You are ready, Victoria. More than you know. And even if you are not ready to physically let me go, in your mind, you already have. You don't need my guidance any longer. You have your own mind…and you have your husband to help you. You are beautiful and you are strong and you are good and just…you will do wonderful things in this life and already have. I just hope you know that it has been my honor to serve you. I hope you know how much purpose and joy you have given me during these past years and that it has done my mind and my heart good… _so much_ good. I love you, my darling girl…and I always will…and I thank God every day for every moment we have spent together."

"You don't believe in God…" Victoria countered with a good natured scoff

"Well, I Thank him all the same," Melbourne whispered, kissing her hair, then finishing, "For only God could have granted me such a gift as you."

"I shall never forget…" Victoria whispered as she clutched him tighter, reiterating the words from her wedding day and from their meeting at his home in Derbyshire recently.

"Nor I, Ma'am…" Melbourne replied immediately

When Victoria pulled back, she locked eyes with her beloved Lord M…so many memories flashing through her mind as she studied his face, trying to take in every detail like a cool drink of water before a long trek in the desert.

"Will I ever see you again?" she asked, her voice soft

Melbourne didn't answer, he only shook his head slightly.

This was it.

He could feel it.

And he didn't want her to see him or be with him when it happened.

The stroke three weeks prior proved that to him.

"So this is really goodbye…" she whispered, her lip trembling

"Yes, Ma'am," Melbourne said, finding his words, "And if it's all the same to you, I prefer to say goodbye now…and only once."

He dropped his eyes to her hand over his before bringing it up to his lips and kissing it gently.

Suddenly, he felt Victoria close the distance between them and when he lifted his eyes again, he saw hers clearly, their eyes locking intensely for a long moment before she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

She pulled back slightly, opening her eyes slowly, but smiled against his lips and closed her eyes again when Lord Melbourne responded, pulling her gently to him and deepening their kiss.

After a few moments, their lips ceased to tangle and Melbourne pulled back, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead, whispering against her skin

"Just once, wasn't enough apparently…but, that kiss on your wedding day was for the mortal world… _this one,_ I'll carry with me to Heaven."

Victoria's face crumbled at his words and all she could do was lean forward and wrap her arms around him again.

"Just let me hold you a while longer…" Victoria said, nuzzling into his robes and taking in his scent to memory.

Melbourne sighed as he laid his cheek on the crown of her head and closed his eyes, trying to commit her touch to memory for all the lonely days and nights to come.

# # # # # #

 _ **I cannot say that I know you well,  
But you can't lie to me with all these books that you sell….**_

William Lamb, the Viscount Melbourne opened his eyes in to the morning sun, turning over under the bed covers in his chambers at Buckingham Palace as he looked at the clock.

 _ **I'm not trying to follow you to the end of the world...**_

He then sighed as he rolled back over, his eyes pained as he tried to keep his face from crumbling.

 _ **I'm just trying to leave something behind….**_

# # # # # # #

Victoria sat at the breakfast table with Albert in their chambers, as quietly and as stoically as she could possibly muster _,_ pretending to listen to her husband as he spoke about the great exhibition in London that was coming up the following year.

 _ **Words have come from men and mouse,  
But I can't help thinking that I've heard the wrong crowd…**_

Victoria took a drink of her tea, using the tea cup to disguise the tear rolling down her cheek as she thought of Lord Melbourne.

 _ **When all the water is gone my job will be too...  
**_

"Victoria?" Albert suddenly asked and she felt him take her hand gently as he leaned forward and studied her face as she lowered the tea cup and revealed her now tear-stained face to him.

 _ **And I'm just trying to leave something behind….**_

It was time to confess.

# # # # # # #

A few hours later, Victoria watched through the glass windows of the fourth floor library, out onto the mall where Lord Melbourne's carriage awaited him, his valet packing the last of his luggage on the back as Melbourne said his goodbyes to the Prince Escort and the royal children.

 _ **Oh, money is free but love costs more than our bread,  
And the ceiling is hard to reach….**_

"Goodbye Lord Melbourne," Albert said, reaching out unexpectedly and shaking Melbourne's hand

Melbourne smiled at the prince and when their hands released, bowed deeply to him.

 _ **Oh the future ahead is broken and red...  
**_

He then turned to the royal children. First, he stepped forward and caressed little Vicky's chin.

Suddenly, he felt a weight on his right leg and smiled as he brushed his hand over Bertie's head as the boy hugged him tightly at the knee cap.

"Goodbye, Bobo."

"Goodbye, sweet boy." Melbourne said then cast his eyes toward Alice and Alfred, who waived to him.

 _ **But I'm trying to leave something behind….**_

Soon, Marc was at Melbourne's side, taking his arm to steady him as he helped his lord and master into the waiting carriage, closing the door behind him.

 _ **This whole world is a foreign land,  
We swallow the moon but we don't know our own hand**_ _…_

Victoria's face fell and she gently placed a hand on the glass reverently as she watched the coachman heed the horses and the carriage pull forward down the drive toward the gates of Buckingham Palace.

 _ **We're running with the case but we ain't got the gold...**_

Inside the carriage, Melbourne closed his eyes. It was almost as if he could feel her eyes on him as he left and it filled him with pain and regret.

 _ **Yet, we're trying to leave something behind….**_

 _# # # # #_

 **Seven months later…**

 **8:04 am, November 24, 1848**

 _ **My friends I believe we are at the wrong fight,  
And I cannot read what I did not write….**_

"It's alright, brother…" Fredrick Lamb said, holding Melbourne's hand as the man breathed shallowly as he lay in he and Caroline's bed at Brocket Hall, "You can let go…it's alright. I'm here. _It's alright_."

 _ **I've been to His house, but the master is gone,  
But I'd like to leave something behind….**_

"And…you'll…do… what I...requested?" Melbourne whispered, his eyes darkening as he focused them on his brother.

"Of course, brother…" Frederick nodded, trying to keep his composure, "You have my word."

 _ **There is a beast who has taken my blame,  
You can put me to bed, but you can't feel my pain…**_

Melbourne smiled, then looked up to the ceiling and inhaled a sharp breath, then his eyes focused and stilled and he didn't exhale.

 _ **When the machine has taken the soul from the man,  
It's time to leave something behind…**_

Frederick immediately looked over his shoulder at Dr. Halmett and the doctor moved forward and felt Melbourne's wrist and after a moment, closed Melbourne's eyes.

 _ **Oh money is free but love costs more than our bread,  
And the ceiling is hard to reach….**_

Frederick's face crumbled and he lowered his forehead sorrowfully to Melbourne's hand still in his own...

"I promise, William," he whispers

 _ **Oh the future ahead is already dead,  
So I'm trying to leave something behind…**_

# # # # # # #

 **7:14pm November 24, 1848**

"No…" Victoria whispered as she stood face to face with Frederick Lamb, the 3rd Viscount Melbourne, her beloved Lord M's brother and successor.

She brought her hand to her mouth as he delivered the fateful news of her mentor's demise.

 _ **I got this feeling that I'm still at the shore,  
And pockets don't know what it means to be poor…**_

Suddenly, her body trembled and Victoria began to faint just as she felt Albert wrap an arm around her from behind and hold her steady.

Victoria immediately felt the license to break down, turning into her husband's chest and sobbing as he held her close.

 _ **I can get through the wall if you give me a door...  
**_ **  
**The Viscount Melbourne lowered his eyes as he pulled something from his inside coat pocket and set it on the side table next to the sofa.

He then bowed deeply to the Queen and the Prince Consort and took his leave from the room as the Queen's mournful cries grew louder.

 _ **So I can leave something behind….**_

 **# # # # # # #**

 **7:30am November 25, 1848**

Victoria's eyes narrowed as she picked up the envelope left on the table by the Viscount Melbourne the day before.

 _ **Oh wisdom is lost in the trees somewhere...**_

She turned it over carefully, her eyes widening when she took in how heavy it was.

Then, using a letter opener from her desk, opened it.

 _ **You're not going to find it in some mental gray hair….**_

Inside was a folded piece of paper on the front of which was written, _Bequeathal of his Rt. Honorable Lord William Lamb the Viscount Melbourne to Her Majesty the Queen_ …and a large, heavy key.

When Victoria unfolded the parchment, her face softened when she saw that Melbourne had drawn a large heart.

He had left her his heart.

 _ **It's locked up from those who hurry ahead...**_

Victoria smiled and then her eyes turned to the key in her hand.

 **And it's time to leave something behind….**

 **# # # # # #**

 **5:41pm November 25, 1848**

Victoria arrived at Brocket Hall and, as the new Viscount Melbourne was indisposed during her unexpected visit, she put the question of the origin and the purpose of the key to the butler, who after studying the key for a long moment, directed her to the groundskeeper.

Ten minutes later, the head gardener used Victoria's key to unlock the Brocket Hall Greenhouse and pushed open the door for her, removing his hat and standing aside for her to enter.

 _ **Oh money is free but love costs more than our bread...**_

Dusk was just beginning to fall, casting beautiful golden rays through the window as she now stood in the center of a room filled with beautiful white orchids...

Orchids Lord Melbourne had continued to grow.

For her.

 ** _And the ceiling is hard to reach…._**

Tears immediately filled Victoria's eyes as she turned in a circle, taking in the room before walking forward and reaching out to touch the pedals of one of the orchids.

 _ **When my son is a man he will know what I meant...**_

Victoria closed her eyes as her fingers brushed over the petals and thought of the night he had first left one for her in her chambers...

Of how his arms felt around her when they danced and he looked down into her eyes.

 _ **When I was just trying to leave something behind….**_

Victoria slowly opened her eyes and looked up to the sky and into the light, knowing that Lord M was sending down those golden rays from Heaven, just for her.

 _ **I was just trying to leave something behind….**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**((Surprise! I guess the last chapter wasn't really the end. LOL! Someone practically begged me by PM for a coda...so, here's what I came up with. Enjoy))**_

 **November 26, 1848 9:11am**

Prince Albert removed his top hat solemnly, carefully taking off his gloves one by one and placing them inside his hat, as he walked slowly in to the greenhouse at Brocket Hall, bathed in early morning light, the orchids that filled the room causing the Prince's blue eyes to soften.

Albert let out a short breath as he walked through the first rows of orchids, reaching out and touching their beautiful petals.

Only a man with a true soul and keen mind could grow orchids so beautiful...

It suddenly reinforced everything he had ever heard about William Lamb, the Viscount Melbourne—that he was an intelligent, hardworking and thoughtful man from a bygone romantic era, truly "A man of great feeling" as Victoria had once described him.

And while Albert once thought that a man who had run in the same circles as the frivolous and liberal Lord Byron couldn't possibly have enough discipline to be an upstanding gentleman (at least by Albert's harsh standards), seeing the care and discipline he had put into his greenhouse had finally changed his mind and opinion of Victoria's dear Lord M.

Though, he had to admit that his thoughts and opinions had softened toward Melbourne in the recent years since his retirement from court and those weeks he had spent with them at Buckingham Palace after his stroke.

Albert blinked as he brought himself back to reality and, reaching inside his inner coat pocket, retrieved a small envelope, opening it with one hand as he stepped forward and scooped up a small amount of dirt from the trophs that held the rows of orchids with the other.

He deposited the dark, rich soil safely into the envelope, then folded it closed and placed it gently back inside his coat close to his vest.

"Your Royal Highness…" Marc, Lord Melbourne's valet, suddenly appeared at the open door, causing Albert to straighten as Marc sighed, his voice strained—it was clear that he had been up all night-when he continued, "Thank you for coming, Sir."

Albert steeled himself then turned on his heel toward the valet and Marc bowed formally.

"Thank you for sending for me…" Albert said softly, his face falling, "Where is she?"

# # # # # # #

Marc slowly led Albert up the main staircase to the second floor of Brocket Hall.

When they reached the main landing, Albert's eyes widened when he saw the three men dressed in long black overcoats standing in the corner of the hallway near the window.

Two of them held a carry stretcher upright between them.

Albert took in a sharp breath and swallowed as his eyes fell on the trio for a long moment.

They were the undertakers and had come for Lord Melbourne.

When the men saw him and recognized him, they bowed at the waist in semi-unison.

Albert closed his eyes, then after a moment, opened them and turned them to Marc as the valet opened the bedroom door and Albert handed him his top hat and gloves as he passed through the threshold.

When he entered the room, Albert stopped immediately inside the doorway as he beheld the sight before him.

Victoria lay in the dress she had left Buckingham Palace in the evening before, her bonnet and cloves lying at the end of the bed where she now lay next to Lord Melbourne's tall pale form.

Albert gave a sad smile as he moved closer, observing the way Victoria's head rested inside the crook of Melbourne's shoulder and her hand lay clasped over his, folded carefully and ceremoniously on his chest, most likely by his brother or Marc.

Melbourne lay on top of the neatly folded bed covers in his dressing robes and night clothes, his eyes closed and his face relaxed and peaceful, his cares of this world ended.

Albert rounded the bed, moving closer to the side behind Victoria. He could hear her soft breathing and, if he had not received the news of what had happened the morning before, and had just walked in on them like they were, he would have just thought they were both sleeping, cuddled close in the same bed.

When he touched her shoulder, she stirred awake slightly and gave a small sigh.

"Victoria, it's me…" he whispered as he helped guide her, rolling her toward him, though her hand still clasped Melbourne's own on his chest next to her, "It's time to go home."

Victoria's eyes fluttered open and she beheld her husband for a long moment before her face crumbled.

"Lord M…" she said softly, her voice breaking as she tried to look over her shoulder, but Albert gently placed a hand on her chin and guided her gaze back to him

"That is not Lord Melbourne…not anymore, Mein Shantz…" Albert replied in a voice barely above a whisper, his eyes softening with sorrow, "He's gone…Victoria, _he's gone_ …He's left this world for a better place," he tried to reassure her with a smile, "He's gone to be with his wife and son...he no longer dwells in the mortal world."

There was a long pause as Victoria's lip trembled and she looked back to Melbourne, "I—I can't—I can't let go of him…" Victoria whispered, closing her eyes as she held tightly to Melbourne hands and tears fell down her cheeks as she started to sob, "I _can't_ …"

Albert immediately reached over her and gently took her wrist, prying her hand away from Melbourne's cold ones.

"It's alright, Darling…Let go…" He whispered as he finally was able to loosen her grip and bring one arm around his neck, while the other, he lay on his chest and she instinctively grabbed the collar of his overcoat, "Let go and hold on to me…that's it…"

Within moments, Albert had leveraged her small form up and off the bed and into his arms just as Marc entered the room.

Albert nodded to the valet as he held the still sobbing Victoria close to his chest and Marc grabbed her gloves and bonnet from the end of the bed, then followed the Prince Consort to the door.

When Albert crossed the threshold, he held Victoria steady with one arm as he reached into the front of his coat and produced four gold crowns and handed them over to the head undertaker, who had stepped forward and now bowed as he accepted them.

"For your silence," Prince Albert stated in a kind, but stern voice

"Your Royal Highness," the undertaker said formally in a tone of allegiance, then watched Albert head down the hall toward the main staircase with the Queen in his arms.

# # # # # # #

 **June 22, 1850**

Victoria and Albert stood, proud and confident, in their ceremonial dress along side the Duchess of Kent, the Prince of Prussia and the Grand Old Duke of Wellington at the front of the private chapel at Buckingham Palace.

John Bird Sumner, the Archbishop of Canterbury, turned from the alter, lifting his noble chin as he smiled and looked down to the one month old infant dressed in a champagne colored christening gown and lying peacefully asleep in the Queen's arms.

Alter boys ceremoniously handed tapered candles to the Prince of Prussia and the Duchess of Kent.

After the Prince and the Duchess said their vows and promised to watch over the new Prince as his godparents, the Archbishop turned to Albert, Victoria and the Duke of Wellington.

"Will those who giveth the Prince the gift of his name step forward with their namesake?" he asked

Albert nodded then smirked as the aging Duke of Wellington turned to the Queen and opened his arm to receive the newborn.

The Duke met the Queen's gaze and said with good humor, "I may not have Melbourne's way with children, but I will do what I can in his stead, Ma'am."

Victoria's face softened as she looked down to her son, then smiled at the Duke as she stepped forward and gently placed the sleeping baby into his arms.

The Duke watched as the Queen straightened the baby's gown over his forearm, then winked at her reassuringly as he turned on his heel and walked forward with Prince Albert toward the baptismal font.

Victoria watched intently as the men stepped forward side by side and the Archbishop turned to his assistant and placed two fingers in the holy oil offered on a golden spoon.

He then turned to Prince Albert

"Albert…" he said as he stepped forward and made a sign of the cross on the Prince's uniformed chest with the fingers touched by Holy oil, "Be thy anointed and bound to this child of God…"

The Archbishop turned to the baby and made a sign of the cross with the same hand on the baby's forehead.

Then the Archbishop turned to the Duke of Wellington and did the same.

"Arthur…" he pronounced, using the Duke's afforded Christian name as he made the sign of the cross over the front of Duke's brocaded dress uniform, "Be thy anointed and bound to this child of God…"

He then made the cross on the baby's forehead, again, sanctifying the union of their names.

As the Archbishop turned back to the Prince, Albert pulled the small envelope he had been keeping in the inside of his sleeve and, opening it, emptied the soil he had collected from Melbourne's greenhouse carefully into his left palm and held it out.

The Prince has spoken to the Archbishop ahead of time regarding this, as well as the others in attendance, so only Victoria was taken aback by his action.

Albert heard her soft gasp and looked briefly over his shoulder to her, giving her a reassuring smile before turning back toward the Archbishop.

"This, I give in proxy of the late William Lamb, the Second Viscount Melbourne," Albert nodded to the Archbishop and the man smiled, his eyes softening as he reached out and brushed his fingers through the soil.

"William…" The Archbishop said formally, then turned to the baby in the Duke's arms, brushing the oil and the residue from the soil lightly over his forehead, "Be thy anointed and bound to this child of God…"

Victoria took in a trembling breath, trying to fight back the tears as she felt the steadying arm of her mother come around her in a moment of comfort.

The Archbishop straightened as he wiped his hand on a monogramed linen draped over his assistant's arm.

He then returned his gaze to the Duke of Wellington

"Do you renounce Satan?" the Archbishop asked

"I do renounce him," the Duke answered on the baby's behalf

"And all of his works?"

"I do renounce them," the Duke answered again

"Do you believe in God Almighty, creator of Heaven and Earth?" the Archbishop asked

"I do believe," the Duke replied

"And in Jesus Christ, his only son, our Savior?"

"I do believe."

"Do you believe in the Holy church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and the life in the here and after?"

"I do believe," the Duke answered finally looking down to the baby in his arms who was now whimpering in his sleep before settling as the Duke tried to soothe him and rocked him a little.

The Archbishop made the sign of the cross in the air over the child then bid the Duke to step forward toward the baptismal font, which the old man did as the baby began to move and awaken, flexing his tiny hands open as his eyes fluttered.

The Archbishop turned to his assistant, who handed him a small gold basin.

The Duke of Wellington gently shifted his charge in his arms and carefully held the infant over the font as it began to cry softly.

The Archbishop dipped the basin in the font and began to pour the water slowly over the baby's head.

"Arthur William Patrick Albert, I christen thee…" He said as his eyes watched the water make contact with the child, "In the name of the Father…and of the son …and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

"Amen," the Duke and the others present said in unison

The Archbishop handed the basin to his assistant once more as the young man lightly brushed the linen over the baby's head to dry it as the Duke brought the Prince safely into the crook of his arm.

The Archbishop stepped forward and lay the end of his robe over the child's chest as the baby fell back to sleep in the Duke's arms.

"You have been clothed with Christ, Arthur William…As many who are baptized into Christ have put on Christ. Go in peace, now and may the Lord our God be with you forever and ever, Amen."


End file.
